Life goes on..

Well nothing new really. Life does continue to go on. I think we are getting a bit more normal. With me taking online classes, working and stuff we are just busy. But it is all worth it.
The new sitter is working out great. Things are much more relaxed.
Isabella will have a telemedicine video conference with Pittsburgh Hepatologist on 9/18 or 9/19. It was very nice of them to do this so we wouldn't all have to travel. I can't begin to express my gratitude. I would have most likely had to take both children with me and go by myself.
Landon is just as sweet as ever. Nothing new going on with him except that his new chair will be here on Monday and we are really excited. It is a Early Sitting System chair made by Leckey. It took longer to get than what I expected. But hey it will be at the house on Monday!!
For me, it seems things are changing alot. For so long, my entire focus has been keeping the kids alive and fighting for equipment, etc. Now that things have calmed down a bit I realize that somewhere in the midst of all this I really stopped being myself to a degree. I was mostly myself. Just the Mother, employee and nurse part of me. Everything else I ignored.
I love Landon and Isabella beyond anything I could ever imagine humanly possible. But I do need time FOR ME. I need a life outside of them to some degree. I am sort of socializing again and talking to people that I had stopped talking to because I just didn't have time and the effort was to much. I have sort of kept myself in a shell. Now I realize I miss being social and doing things.
Well that is how things are going on our end. Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Hodge Podge

Ok, I love my kids dearly. But I am ready to go back to work. They have been mean to me:) over the long weekend. We have been so relaxed I think I am starting to go stir crazy. Though tomorrow when I have to drag my behind out of bed at 6am to get ready I doubt I will have these same feelings.

I have been thinking lately now that my marriage is over and has been over for a while. How would I ever let another man into our lives? Even if he did want in. It so complex to think about that it blows my mind. I have 2 kids. So imagine if he had 1 or 2 kids. That would be 4. To think I have I thought I might want more kids.

I guess it really depends on what the future holds. I have no idea if I will meet and fall in love with another man. I may stay alone. The idea doesn't bother me much right now of being alone. But I do know that one day the kids will grow up.

I like that I don't have to share my stuff with anyone but the kids and that includes my bed. There is no snoring. I am not sure how my feelings about this will change with time.

I do miss the companionship of a man in some ways. I guess I just wouldn't want to have to put work into anything or maybe I wouldn't want to fall for someone.

It has only been recently that I have thought long and hard about this. I am not approached often by men but I have been and everytime I just think NO.

Who knows. I guess we can revisit in a year and see if I am still all alone!