Hodge Podge

Ok, I love my kids dearly. But I am ready to go back to work. They have been mean to me:) over the long weekend. We have been so relaxed I think I am starting to go stir crazy. Though tomorrow when I have to drag my behind out of bed at 6am to get ready I doubt I will have these same feelings.

I have been thinking lately now that my marriage is over and has been over for a while. How would I ever let another man into our lives? Even if he did want in. It so complex to think about that it blows my mind. I have 2 kids. So imagine if he had 1 or 2 kids. That would be 4. To think I have I thought I might want more kids.

I guess it really depends on what the future holds. I have no idea if I will meet and fall in love with another man. I may stay alone. The idea doesn't bother me much right now of being alone. But I do know that one day the kids will grow up.

I like that I don't have to share my stuff with anyone but the kids and that includes my bed. There is no snoring. I am not sure how my feelings about this will change with time.

I do miss the companionship of a man in some ways. I guess I just wouldn't want to have to put work into anything or maybe I wouldn't want to fall for someone.

It has only been recently that I have thought long and hard about this. I am not approached often by men but I have been and everytime I just think NO.

Who knows. I guess we can revisit in a year and see if I am still all alone!