Positive Living

You know I have my days where I am in bad moods and negative and just plain down in the dumps. Those are the days when I am most scared about Isabella and Landon. Whether it be will Landon and Isabella have good care if I die? Are they going to live past 5? Will Landon walk? Why isn't this happening? Where is this piece of equipment. Will Isabella ever like anything besides pudding? Will she ever let go of anyone standing and have confidence to take steps on her own? What school should I put Landon in? Will Landon ever be able to talk? What if nothing we are doing works out? What if both children develop autism and OCD?
The list could go on of what is running through my brain as I am doing some mundane report at work. It will do that all day. So I am not all positive and cheery all the time.
I do try and thank God for everyday Isabella, Landon and I have been here. They have changed my life so profoundly for the better. My eyes have been opened to things I never saw or paid attention to before. But I do try to have a brave face and smiles for them. I don't want them, of all people to think our lives are horrible or should be pittied as one person was so kind to point out how she "pittied" us. Their lives are worth living and they add much joy to my life.
I was thinking. What is living? Isn't life full of LOVE, HEARTBREAK, AND A ROLLER COASTER OF EMOTIONS THAT INCLUDE HAPPINESS. I think we are living.